Low Down

Rain – what is it? Drops of water coming down from the sky? Yes, it is what the kid says, isn’t it? Bloody – bad luck! I’ve not taken my umbrella (it was what I said coming back from work) I am soaked through and through. Some scientist will make a lecture out from a small definition that rain is a liquid water in the form of droplets which condensed from atmospheric water vapour and then precipitated, it means became heavy enough to fall under gravity. This outstandingly  interesting phenomena in form of rain drops is pouring heavily outside my window. I love rain, I love when the droplets falling loudly, braking aside against a window pane. This rain is different, it indicates some changes – the weather changes … brrr – autumn – can’t wait till it comes, Amsterdam looks so nice, peaceful, gold leaves of the trees surrounding the canals give them all a mist of magic and mystery. I enjoyed the summer a lot, but unfortunately, soon we will notice that … “... The red light of the sun...

There are moments during the day that you think I need a new shirt, a new pair of shoes, some mascara or a lipstick (eventually I  bought some), I decided to go to the optician, I haven't had my eyes checked for two years. I write and read a lot, sometimes spend a lot of time in front of a computer screen.  So I was really afraid it might have been pretty deteriorated.  I entered the building, I handed in a medical commission I was given and there we go ...an interview. - How long have you been in Holland, Miss Laskowic? - Almost two years. - Have you been at the optician before? - No, there was no such a need. - When last did you check your eyes? - Two years, precisely. - What's the problem now? - I've got headaches and the vision is a bit blurred, especially in the distance.  I thought it will take some time, but all was done with a spur of a moment.  Lenses I've got are not "tiny thinned" and it always embarrasses...

I know he died some time ago, he is quite old fashioned guy, but frankly, this bizarreness made him my favourite philosopher of our times.   “Critique of the Pure Reason” is a masterpiece in which metaphysics and traditional philosophy create an opposite attract. In the Enlightenment era his idea of experiences that comes  shaped right from our mind is still sensational. The mind is beyond our being, not divine conception as was first believed. His “philosophy of mind” is a compulsory part of a medical and biological faculty. Which is a pain in the ass to every student of biology or medicine. Sorry guys! It is tough. On the other hand I like his idea of freedom – which is ruled by empiricism, our will to know, to find out, determined by our curiosity. "The starry skies above me and the moral law inside me".    That’s the point! I do understand that for non-Kant’s fans it appears perplexed, no worries, I’ve got also some problems … That’s why I try to attend some free...

I learnt throughout all my time in Amsterdam that I may like someone a lot but some acquaintances will remind distant and it’s OK I accept it. What I also learnt  is that some bitter sweet experiences come across, somewhere along the way, sometimes it is painful. I am a delicate person, so I bruise  easily, but I just let it go. It helps. It must have simply been irreversible. So called ups and downs. I met lots of people with whom I worked, I like them, but I learnt – sometimes we just go our separate ways. I also learnt that I may be myself, in all the meaning of its notion, without pretending of being someone else,  just to feel good in my own skin. I may be alone, but I know I'm not lonely. I've fallen in love. I simply love to love and hate to hate.  I feel OK with it.  "I will go down with this ship  And I won't put my hands up and surrender  There will be no white flag above my door  I'm in love and always will be.....